I guess over the years I became content to be discontent. It was easier to complain than do something about it. My frustration built up very gradually, but one day, I finally said, "Why am I putting up with this? Life is too short to spend 1/3 of my time in a bed I hate."
But new beds are expensive, right? Fear shuts down the desire for change before we even acknowledge the desire as a real thought.
I was brave. I pushed through the deprivation mentality:
- "I have to hold on to it, even if I'm unhappy, because at least I'll have something."
- "What if what I want isn't out there?"
- And even more scary: "What if I don't even know what I want?"
I knew I wanted change, even if I wasn't sure what that was yet. I looked on our local online ads. My exact bed frame was being sold by someone else--for $150! I said, "Well, no one would ever pay that for mine, but instead of hauling it to the dump, how about I throw it out there for $75?"
It sold within a couple of hours. People were beating each other down for my piece-of-junk-bed frame.
So now what? I have a bed on cinderblocks. What DO I want? How can I claim what is mine if I don't know what that is? I know it's just furniture, but how would it support the feeling we wanted in our room? We figured out a few solutions we'd be happy with and threw it out to the universe. Within a couple of days a gorgeous, like-new frame comes up for $100. We look, we buy. My wish-came-true cost, in effect, $25. Twenty. Five. Dollars.
The room has a completely different feel! I can read in bed. I can put my junk underneath so I don't have piles of stuff on the floor. The room feels peaceful and uncluttered--a haven.
That's when I realized this was a metaphor for my life. How often do I put up with a situation I am not happy with? Just complain instead of doing something? Decide ahead of time that I can't even allow myself to consider another possibility--another solution that could be my wish come true?
It is a provident universe! As I open myself up to change that I want, I believe that it will feel so wonderful to be rid of the old ideas, paradigms, and baggage that I've been lugging around--and that the "cost" of change is much less than I would have ever dreamed.
So how to do it?
First, I have to realize that a change needs to be made, stop complaining, and have the courage to ask the questions to find out what I want.
Next, get rid of the old situation. It's not better to hold on to something I don't want just for the sake of having something. Maybe it won't be pretty for a while, but the time spent in limbo is probably much less than I fear.
Then, cast my desires out to the universe. God doesn't care what furniture I have, but I know He wants me to be happy. He who sees the sparrow's fall knows me intimately and wants to support me in my efforts to become a better person and to create my most authentic life. There are infinite blessings waiting for me as I open myself up to them.
I CAN change. I CAN live the life I want. Life is too short to be spent waiting for the life I wish I really had. I can do something today to create the amazing life I was meant to live.